Sorrow and Anguish
by ChAOtiC ReApEr
Summary: Angst one shot about Harry during the war coming back to his love only to find out things have changed. contains character suicide.


**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Harry Potter J.K Rowling does.**

Harry Potter, the boy who lived and the best soldier of the light side looked up at Hogwarts castle. It was his first ever home and he loved it. It had been over a year since he last saw it but there was someone inside that he wanted to see more than anything else.

He stumbled on the pathway going to Hogwarts from its main gate, exhausted and weary from all the fighting. He had just come from one of the military camps where he was stationed and he had been granted a few days leave. As he walked he passed all the places he remembered spending time with his friends, Hagrid's hut were he should spend hours talking to his giant friend, the large oak tree were he should do his homework during the summer days, the lake where he had to swim in during his fourth year for the second task of the Triwizard tournament and even the Womping Willow were they once used the hidden passage at its base to sneak to the Shrieking Shack to save Sirius. It would have been his 7th year if he had stayed at Hogwarts but of course he had to go to war, so much was missed this pass year, time that he would never get back.

He began thinking of his two best friends as he trudged along. His best mate Ron Weasley, the red head who was like a brother to him. His family had taken him in and loved him like one of their own. He was injured quite badly at the end of 5th year as a result he could not partake in the war at the time, so he stayed at Hogwarts to complete his education and to help out there any way he could. Then there was Hermione Granger, the one he loved above all else. They had started dating at the end of their fourth year and had never looked back. It still amazed him that she loved him and he was thankful for that every day. She was the reason he fought the war, she was his rock, without her he was nothing. A smile played on his lips as he thought of all the good times he had with her and could not wait to finally see her.

As he came out of his musing he realized that he had arrived at the doors of Hogwarts. He knew that with the new security he could not just enter so he knocked on it three times. He waited for a minute before it slowly opened with an almighty groan. There stood Minerva McGonagall in her customary green robe. He smiled at her and surprisingly she gave him a hug as she welcomed him in. They walked along the main corridor and Harry finally felt at peace, he was home.

Minerva had left him as she had to go and see Dumbledore so he carried on walking aimlessly, not caring were his feet were taking him and just going with it. As he walked he saw things that reminded him of his past years and it brought a smile to his face. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black box. He looked at it thoughtfully and ran his finger along it. He slowly opened it and inside was a beautiful engagement ring; it had a gold band, a large diamond in the center and smaller ones surrounding it. It belonged to his mother, he had gotten it out of his vault at Gringotts and kept it as a reminder but today he was going to propose to Hermione.

He wondered about for a while and then chose to go to the astronomy tower for some fresh air and a nice place to think. He came to its entrance and started climbing its spiral staircase and on reaching the top he found that the door was opened and realized that someone was there. He thought it may be a couple spending some time alone so he decided to leave and not disturb them but he froze when he heard her voice, why was she there and with who was she. So with his heart beating wildly he crept towards the ajar door and froze at the doorway hidden from view by a jutting out stone in the wall.

He looked closely and saw his best mate Ron holding his love tightly, he saw her lean back into his arms and sigh contently, he saw her look at him with love and kiss him. It broke him, his heart felt like it had been ripped to shreds, tears cascaded down his face and he realized that the woman that he wanted a future with was no longer his.

Then he saw something that would probably haunt him for the rest of his short life. He saw Ron step away from her and go down on one knee taking out a small box. He saw him take out a ring and ask her question which he could not hear because his mind was in so much turmoil. He saw her give a large squeal and gladly accept the ring, he saw her jump into his arms and kiss him passionately.

The box containing the ring he had planned to give her finally slipped through his loose fingers, it fell to the ground and snapped open as the ring rolled towards them and finally stopped at her feet. She looked down and frowned; she picked it up and wondered where it came from. She looked towards the doorway and froze as she saw the man she once promised to love for all eternity.

"H…Harry." She said in an anguished voice.

Ron turned around and paled drastically as he saw his once best mate watching from the doorway with tears flowing down his face and a look of pure anguish on his face. Hermione looked at the ring she picked up and then looked at Harry as she worked out why he had it. Tears flew from her eyes as she realized that the man before her had just been broken because of her. Shaking she started to walk towards him but he turned around and ran. She tried to run after him but he was to fast from all the training and practice. She slumped against a wall and buried her face in her hands and started sobbing her heart out.

Harry Potter ran he ran like he had never run before. He had to get out of there; he didn't think he could ever look at them again so he stopped near the entrance hall and tried to calm himself down. He wiped the tears away and sent a patronus to McGonagall saying that he had to leave for an emergency and with that he left Hogwarts and apparated back to camp. There he found a bottle of firewhisky and drank though the night, drinking away his sorrows but he knew there was no cure for a broken heart, all he could do was just numb the pain.

For the next few days he walked around and did what he was supposed to do in a catatonic like state. Nobody could get a word out of him as to what happened. It unnerved them as they had seen him take on all enemies and carry on life like nothing had happened but a few hours away at Hogwarts where something had simply destroyed him and that something did what Voldemort could never do. Then came the day that Voldemort challenged him to a duel to the death, it was to be held at the grounds of Hogwarts where they would decide the fate of the world.

He stood there on the shores of the black lake staring out into its depts. He wondered how his life would have been if he had stayed and not gone to war, or what would have happened if Voldemort had chosen Neville instead of him. He looked back at the sea of men and woman willing to lay their lives down so that the future could have peace. How he wished he was one of them, just another soldier, to be a nobody. He saw them, they were trying to make their way to him but he had given strict instructions not to let them anywhere near him. He saw the looks of anguish on their faces and the tears flowing down their faces but he did not care, he did not care because he could not feel.

Finally Voldemort arrived and the duel commenced. It was a battle for the ages as both competitors used magic that had not been seen in thousands of years, the power erupting from them was amazing. As he battled Harry remembered what Dumbledore once said, he said that love would help him overcome Voldemort, he was wrong, he did not feel anything but sorrow and anger. It empowered him and finally it allowed him to win.

As the people started celebrating around him he stayed quite and started down at his fallen adversary. This man was the cause of so much death and so much sorrow and now he lay there lifeless, gone on to the next adventure. He saw the wand lying there next to the body; he moved towards it and picked it up. He twirled it around thinking of all the important people in his life that fell to this wand, tonight it would kill one last time.

He looked around at those who were happily celebrating and silently wished them well for the future and then finally his eyes met hers. She was standing there covered in mud and blood and sporting a few bruises from the battle. He mouthed to her 'Ill loves you forever' before lifting the wand up to his head and said to nobody "How Fitting I end this way." He shut his eyes and said in a clear voice that somehow reached the ears of everyone there "Avada Kadavra."

A flash of green and the boy who lived was now dead. As people around her started screaming and crying she collapsed to her knees and knew it was she that killed him, she closed her eyes and felt pain in her heart that she knew would never go away.

The next day on the shores of the lake, a white tomb lay. Today was the day Harry Potter was going to be buried. People from all over the world came for the funeral and to pay their last respects to the boy who saved them all. Hermione sat in the front row with Ron and all of Harry's close friends. She had the ring he dropped on a chain around her neck, it pained to carry it but she did it to always remind herself of what had happened, it reminded her of the day she killed Harry Potter. His body was carried by Hagrid and placed into the tomb along with his wand and invisibility cloak. Dumbledore stood up and started talking about all the good things about Harry and finally he waved his wand and sealed the tomb. With another flick of his wand he conjured up a statue of a replica of Harry holding his wand and a phoenix sitting on his shoulder. Hedwig flew done and began nuzzling the statue before flying off and landing on her shoulder. She petted her and realized that she was her master now.

People had started milling towards the tomb to drop their flowers and say a few words. She just sat there and waited. Finally she walked towards it and stopped in front of it, she ran her hand cross the smooth surface of the white marble as tears dropped and splattered onto it. She placed her rose onto it and then realized that this was it, this was the final goodbye to Harry Potter. It tore at her soul and she made up her mind at what to do because she realized that she could not live without him. She took out her wand and a quick two words later Hermione Granger joined Harry Potter on the next great adventure.

**Please R&R and thank you for reading.**


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